


Love and Regrets

by CLLMichaelis



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Post Season 2, Remorse, Romance, slightly dark, theatrical
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 23:38:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7661659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CLLMichaelis/pseuds/CLLMichaelis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The venom of a cobra will eat you away from the inside out, but even that pales in comparison to the poison of remorse. Just ask Sebastian Michaelis... After abandoning his demonling master, Sebastian endures the surging pain of his masters cries, but what comes next is even worse. Especially when it's something he thought only humans could feel. Rating may change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on ff.net under the title "Cobra"  
> The next few chapters will start to vary slightly from the original.  
> Enjoy!~

Even the fierce flames of hell couldn't compare to the pain that coursed through Sebastian's being. Like venom from a cobra it pulsed through his veins eating him away from the inside out. Although no matter how long the torment went on, there was not a mark to show for it. Save for a slight grimace in Sebastian's normally composed features or the slight shaking of his left hand when the pain would escalate before dying back down. The source of his agony being the mark of the covenant he held with one Earl Phantomhive. Or moreover held, yes the mark was still there, and yes, by means of the contract he was still enslaved to that infernal boy. But Sebastian had gone against their covenant as soon as he was transformed into a demon by that insolent Hannah. Now every cry from the abandoned child sent a new rack of agony up his arm and through his spine.  


The first few decades were the worst. Ciel's helpless cries would rage for days on end, so loud and aggravating they would render Sebastian unable to move until they ceased. Over the next twenty years or so the pleas calmed from agonizing to uncomfortable. By year fifty it subsided into a dull ache, and after sixty it disappeared completely. Ciel haven given up on the hope of his loyal butler ever returning. However it seemed a new sort of pain had replaced it, something that if Sebastian didn't know any better he would say resembled regret. But that was preposterous for the only thing he ever regretted was not devouring Ciel's soul when he'd had the chance.  


Sebastian found that the longer he went without sensing something from the contract seal the more this foreign feeling grew. It started as a dull thought mulling in the back of his head then gradually developed into a pestering ache in the bottom of his gut. Slowly, but surely, it grew, festering somewhere in his chest where he supposed his heart should be, just like a disease. Eventually it became worse than even his (former) master's cries. The more he tried to forget it, the more persistent it would become. He found it impossible to complete even the simplest of tasks without it getting in the way of his concentration.  


The worst part was that Sebastian couldn't figure just exactly what this emotion was. It resembled regret, but not quite. Perhaps it was loneliness? No. A demon could never be lonely. Then... longing? Yes, that was it, longing. A longing for what exactly? Well not even Sebastian could tell you that. He just knew he wanted, needed, something. It was almost as if a part of him was missing, and he couldn't help but wonder if had something to do with that insufferable boy. Preposterous, maybe, but it was the only lead he had and was going to do something about it. Or he was sure it would eat him from the inside out, just like the venom of a cobra.  


It was that hunch that had dragged Sebastian all over the world looking for his forsaken master; unfortunately it seemed Ciel had found a way to evade him completely. He had cut of all form of contact through the covenant making it near impossible for Sebastian to track him down. The next fifty or so years were spent searching in all places for his lord. They ranged from Paris France, to Beijing China, Sydney Australia, Mexico, and with each place he became more desperate and lost more hope. Where could his little lord be? Surely he wasn't dead, after all the contract mark was still there even if there was no connection through it.  


Eventually the desperation pushed him into seeing if the Undertaker knew anything. That was a hard pill to swallow. A divine being like himself having to ask Shinigami scum for help finding the boy who had cheated him of his most well deserved dinner. Although Undertaker no longer owned the morgue he still had many ties in both the underworld and the supernatural world. After Sebastian paid his price Undertaker informed him that he had heard rumor of the Phantomhive boy nesting somewhere in America.


End file.
